January 4 - "Say Yes to the Dress"

(based on an idea by Lisa DiCarlucci)

AMANDA in a wedding gown, ALLIE and ALISHA in bridesmaids dresses.

ALLIE

Amanda, you look so fucking beautiful, I can’t get over it.

ALISHA

It’s utterly disgusting how gorgeous you look.

AMANDA

You girls do, too!

ALISHA

It’s just too bad that we aren’t --

AMANDA

Shut up, Alisha! I refuse to have this day ruined for me.

ALISHA

Sorry, Amanda.

AMANDA

Where did that lady go with my headpiece?

ALEX, the saleswoman, enters carrying a large, gaudy, veiled headpiece.

ALEX

This is what you were looking for, right?

AMANDA

My word! It’s stunning! Isn’t it stunning Allie?

ALLIE

(eyes-widening)

So stunning.

ALEX

And it would go very well with that dress. You know, we’ve had so many people buy this dress. They’re not making it anymore, you know. This is the last one we have.

AMANDA

Really?

ALEX

Very last one. Ever. I’ll leave you to it. Come find me when you’re ready.

ALEX leaves.

AMANDA

Did you hear that? This is the last version of this dress they’ll ever have. I have to buy it.

ALLIE

Uh, Amanda?

AMANDA

What?

ALLIE

You’re not getting married.

ALISHA

You’re not even engaged. Or seeing anyone.

AMANDA

Rub it in. I think I’m gonna buy it.

ALLIE

It’s ridiculously expensive.

AMANDA

They’re never making it again, Allie. Never. Again.

A beat.

ALLIE

You should buy it. It’s just beautiful.

AMANDA

Alisha? What say you?

ALISHA

Oh fine, buy it.

AMANDA, followed by ALLIE and ALISHA exit, almost like a wedding procession.

After a few seconds, a SALESWOMAN enters with a WOMAN and her BRIDESMAIDS. The SALESWOMAN holds the exact same dress as AMANDA had on.

SALESWOMAN

That is an extraordinary dress you’re wearing. And wouldn’t you know? That’s the last one we have in stock. And we aren’t getting any more, either.

Blackout.