The set is a large, ornate doll’s house. Two stories plus a basement.
In the basement, FATHER sleeps in the previous day’s clothing on a recliner, the television still on.
In the living room, SON sleeps on the sofa, shirtless, with his GIRLFRIEND, also topless.
On the second floor, there are two bedrooms. In one, MOTHER sits up in bed, having just woken up. In the other, DAUGHTER sleeps with her BOYFRIEND. They are also wearing street clothes.
FATHER awakens, sits up, composes himself before heading upstairs to the living room.
There, he stops, stares at SON and GIRLFRIEND, chuckling to himself and shaking his head. He continues upstairs.
He opens the door to DAUGHTER’s room, sees her and BOYFRIEND in bed. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head.
He quietly opens MOTHER’s door and enters her room.
FATHER
Oh, you’re up.
MOTHER
Just now.
FATHER
Well...at least I know there was no sex going on in here last night.
MOTHER
What do you mean?
FATHER
Son is sleeping on the couch with some woman and Daughter is in her bed with some man.
MOTHER
Oh, really?
FATHER
Our home looks like a bordello, Mother. Do you know who they are?
MOTHER
I should, shouldn’t I?
SON awakens, leaves GIRLFRIEND asleep. He heads upstairs to MOTHER’s room.
FATHER
What do we do?
MOTHER
Leave them be, Father. They are adults.
SON enters.
SON
Good morning.
MOTHER
Morning, stud.
FATHER
Who was that fetching young woman whose breasts were on display for the whole world to see?
SON
Some bitch. Great lay, though.
MOTHER
You know, your sister is in there with some lay of her own.
SON
What? I’ll fucking kill him.
SON runs into DAUGHTER’s room. FATHER and MOTHER follow.
SON
Get the fuck up, motherfucker.
DAUGHTER
(waking up)
What?
SON
Get that fucker out of MY house this instant.
MOTHER
Son, mind your own business.
SON
No! I will not let someone defile my sister in my own home!
DAUGHTER
You’ve got your own downstairs! How would you like it if I started screaming at her to get out of the house?
SON
I’m the Man here!
FATHER
No, actually, I am the man here.
SON
GET UP, ASSHOLE.
DAUGHTER
Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be...
DAUGHTER gets out of bed, runs downstairs and starts screaming at GIRLFRIEND. SON, MOTHER and FATHER follow her down. BOYFRIEND stays sleeping.
DAUGHTER
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU WHORE AND PUT A SHIRT ON!
SON
Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that, cunt!
DAUGHTER
Fuck you!
They start beating each other up. MOTHER and FATHER stare at each other.
FATHER
They’ll get tired eventually, right? They always do. Right?
MOTHER
They always do.
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