DAVID, sitting in a chair, smoking a pipe. A single light shining down on him. A rifle in his lap.
DAVID
This is what I hate about football. It’s boring. It takes too long. I don’t like watching people look like idiots. I don’t like watching self-congratulatory tripe. The players have more money than I do. They don’t have class. They’re all arrogant. The viewers are drunk. Nothing ever happens. It always goes into overtime and takes away the TV shows I want to watch.
A beat.
Lucy always tripped Charlie Brown.
DAVID takes the rifle, shoots out the light.
Blackout.
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