January 25 - "The First Day of School"

A KID is asleep in bed.

His alarm clock goes off.

He wakes up.

He looks at it.

He hits the top of clock.

He goes back to bed.

January 10 - "Soupy, The Drug Dealer"

A high school auditorium.

Students sit awaiting a play.

The teacher, Mrs. Groenfeld, pulls out her cell phone and starts lecturing the students.

MRS. GROENFELD

Turn your damn cell phones OFF. You hear me? OFF. Not silent, not vibrate. I don’t want to hear any vibrations during the play. These are REAL actors for a change. Not your friends. These people are from England. They do real theater, not the crap that Mrs. Rhinebeck puts on every year. These are trained Shakespearian actors, here for your enjoyment. So turn your cell phones off. And no text messaging, either. Cause they can see that on stage. And the people around you can see it, too. And it’s disturbing to your colleagues who actually want to be here and actually want to see the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of “Love’s Labour’s Lost” and actually want to make something with their lives. Oh, and y’all better take notes, because something tells me I think there’s gonna be a quiz on this tomorrow.

One student, SOUPY, is fumbling around with his wallet.

MRS. GROENFELD

Soupy, are you listening to me?

SOUPY mumbles something.

MRS. GROENFELD

Good.

Across the aisle from SOUPY is a large black woman.

SOUPY

(to the woman)

Hello.

She nods at him.

SOUPY

Yo, I got what you want.

BLACK WOMAN

What?

SOUPY

You want some of this, don’t you?

He holds out a small baggie full of marijuana.

BLACK WOMAN

How’d you know I want that?

SOUPY

‘Cause you’re a woman and I’m a man.

BLACK WOMAN

What?

SOUPY

I’ll give it to you on the cheap.

BLACK WOMAN

How much?

He mouths the number to her. We can’t see.

STUDENT #1

Miss! Soupy’s doing a drug deal!

MRS. GROENFELD

Soupy is special. He probably doesn’t even know what drugs are.

STUDENT #1

But Miss, look!

The transaction has already been made. SOUPY sits, silently staring into oblivion.

MRS. GROENFELD

Soupy, we’re you participating in a transaction using illegal substances?

SOUPY mumbles something.

MRS. GROENFELD

See? He doesn’t even know what that means.

She walks away.

SOUPY grabs STUDENT #1 by the throat.

SOUPY

If you EVER do that to me again, my boys will kill you.

SOUPY releases the student. The play begins.

Blackout.

January 3 - "Ms. Rhinebeck's Announcement"

A classroom. A class rehearses “Grease.”

STUDENT #1

Hey Doodie, where’d you get the guitar?

Bell rings.

MS. RHINEBECK

Okay everyone, good work today. Michael, do you think we need to do a line-through tonight?

MICHAEL

Your call, Ms. Rhinebeck.

MS. RHINEBECK

Let’s have a line-through at seven-thirty in the auditorium. Oh, and before you all go, I have an announcement. Maureen has a boyfriend. That’s right, MAUREEN has a boyfriend!

Everyone gasps. Some people cheer.

MS. RHINEBECK

I know, right? It feels like just yesterday that she was makin’ out in the prop room with Marko.

Everyone gasps.

MS. RHINEBECK

Oh fuck, that was a secret!

MARKO

Hey, you know why it feels like last week? Because it WAS last week. What the hell, Maureen? I thought we had a thing goin’ on.

MAUREEN

I found someone who loves and cares about me.

MS. RHINEBECK

And his name, we have learned, is Benny. Just like in “Rent.” Oh my, how fitting!

MARKO

You’re a dick, Maureen. I should have known.

MARKO exits, followed by MS. RHINEBECK and the rest of the class.

MAUREEN

Well, I’m glad I know enough about that cunt to get her fired if I need to. That was incredibly rude.

MICHAEL

Even worse? You know why we’re doing the line-through tonight?

MAUREEN

Why?

MICHAEL

To prevent you from seeing him.

MAUREEN

That cunt! I’ll show her. (MAUREEN pulls out her cell phone, dials.) Hey, sweetie, wanna come to rehearsal tonight?

Blackout.